


The Loser and the Monster

by SpoopyJim



Series: Sanders' Sides One Shots [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst and Feels, Everyone Is Gay, M/M, Mild Gore, Self-Esteem Issues, Songfic, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-28 06:19:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19388263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpoopyJim/pseuds/SpoopyJim
Summary: The loser looks in the eyes of the monsterAt least he doesn’t need to pretend or to force a smile“Oh I don’t know if I’m lying or living a lie”The monster’s humming a lullabyor Ferry songs remind me of Remus, Deceit is a sad boy, I'm very gay, let's do this





	The Loser and the Monster

**Author's Note:**

> I just
> 
> The Parties Are For Losers universe makes me think of the Dark Sides, especially Remus.
> 
> I'm thinking of making a verse completely based on it but in case I never do it, I'll have to just settle for the second verse of the first song.
> 
> Remus is the Monster and Deceit is the Loser.

_I don’t know what else I can tell you_  
_“You know, opening up is not that bad.”_  
_I think this music will surely_ _  
Drive me mad_

Deceit knew who he was. A ‘dark side’. Or as Virgil now called them, the ‘others’. 

He was… dark, and bad. But he didn’t feel like that. He wasn’t against Thomas, maybe sometimes against the others- but wasn’t Logan against the others sometimes too?

Lying wasn’t always bad.

Deceit wasn’t always bad.

He did feel lonely though. And while he had Remus and… to be around, it didn’t feel right.

He remembered meeting Remus the first time.

That was when… Virgil was with them…

Deceit flinched and looked up when someone sat next to him.

“Did I scare you?” 

Remus. Remus, a wide smile on his 100% honest face.

“No.” Deceit looked away, sniffing softly. He knew Remus wasn’t the best with _feelings_.

Remus stared at Deceit for a long time, before his smile softened. “Are you okay?”

Deceit looked over, before sighing. “I’m not okay.” He said, the truth dripping from his tongue.

Remus’s lips pursed together a bit. “Well, I’m here to listen. We can have a heart to heart!” He reached up to touch his chest, but Deceit grabbed his wrist before Remus could do more than move his hand.

“Don’t do that. I really have nothing to say, I already told you I’m not okay.”

Remus frowned now, before moving to tug Deceit’s wrist. “Let’s head to my room. I really think that talking would help!”

But would it really?

Deceit stared at Remus, standing and holding Deceit’s wrist, tugging him gently so he’d follow.

Deceit only hesitated for another moment before he stood up and followed Remus. Why not, then. He didn’t _have_ to say anything.

Remus wasn’t dangerous to be around, and it wasn’t dangerous to talk about his feelings.

 _The loser looks in the eyes of the monster_  
_At least he doesn’t need to pretend or to force a smile_  
_“Oh I don’t know if I’m lying or living a lie”_ _  
The monster’s humming a lullaby_

Remus was holding Deceit close. He wasn’t sure why Deceit was acting so strangely, so much different than usual. He didn’t complain though, just hugged Deceit’s head as the other buried his face carefully into Remus’s stomach.

Remus let the thought of his stomach opening and guts spilling out onto Deceit’s face go through his head normally, without acting on it, and gently started touching Deceit’s hair.

“What’s gotten into you, Deceit?”

Deceit gave a soft noise, shaking his head. “I don’t know what I can even tell you… I know how you are, Remus, and…”

Remus cut him off, mainly just making a noise. After a long pause, Remus finally just said, “You know, you can tell me… I might not be very smart but I can try helping you.”

Deceit inclined his head, chin resting against Remus’s stomach as they kept eye contact.

“I’m acting as normal as usual.”

Remus nodded. “You’re right, this is very different…”

Deceit gave a tired noise, eyes averting as tears filled them.

Remus stared at him for a long time as he continued to card his fingers through Deceit’s available hair.

“I think there’s something wrong with me… Up here.” Deceit pointed at his head.

“Your hat?”

“Wha- Yes. My hat.”

Remus hummed. “Your head?”

“... no.”

Remus exhaled softly. “I’m here for you.”

“I think… I’m a lie.”

“What do you mean?”

Deceit blinked. “I think my entire existence is a lie, not just that I speak in lies. I can tell the truth, but what if _I’m_ not the truth?”

Remus played with Deceit’s hair for a little longer. He didn’t answer Deceit though, just continuing to physically comfort Deceit.

Deceit blinked away tears and kept his face hidden in Remus’s stomach.

Remus never smelled the same day to day. He always changed his smell, because his appearance was the only thing he was comfortable with. 

Today, Remus smelled like cinnamon. Red hot, spicy cinnamon. Maybe even some chili pepper mixed in.

Either way, Deceit felt warm.

Remus started humming and singing softly as Deceit let out a small sob, and that seemed to warm Deceit’s insides more.

“I’m not scared of how our lives are going… It doesn’t feel like everything is going way too fast…”

 _“Oh, what’s the use of escaping the future_  
_when you can mold it into whatever you please?”_  
_She sings_  
_And I don’t know if it’s something she really believes_ _  
My sadness seeps through my clenched teeth_

Deceit’s throat hurt when Remus finally moved the two to lay in Remus’s bath tub, tears streaking down his face as he listened to the creative side continue singing. 

The words to his song made Deceit shudder slightly. Remus was 100% honest all the time, wasn't he? Did songs count? Deceit couldn't sense a lie nor a truth from it, couldn't tell what Remus meant now. 

He wasn't sure what that meant. 

Deceit wiped tears that were spilling down his cheeks. "Remus-"

Remus ignored him, in favor of singing a little louder. 

Was that for Remus’s sake, or misplaced for Deceit’s sake?

Deceit touched Remus’s stomach, and blinked when the side stuttered and lost the song for a moment.

“Remus.”

“... huh.”

Deceit met Remus’s eyes.

It felt like the world around them grew dark, as they stared.

The room felt like it was caving in.

Like it was about to swallow the two up, or maybe like Remus was about to swallow him up.

Were they right? Remus was a monster, Remus was dangerous, Remus-

Remus stuck his tongue out.

Deceit blinked.

Remus’s laughter filled the room, and whatever just happened was immediately broken. “You lose!”

“I lose?”

“We were having a staring contest. You blinked first.”

Deceit gave a tired chuckle, nodding a little.

It was times like these that reminded him.

Remus wasn’t a monster, and Deceit wasn’t a loser.

They were both okay together. They didn’t need Virgil, or…

Deceit exhaled shakily and nuzzled his face against Remus’s chest when they heard someone looking for them.

“I guess it’s time to go.” Remus helped Deceit up, and smiled at him happily.

Deceit snorted and nodded. “Alright. Thomas must not be having a problem.”

“WHEEEEN isn’t he??!” Remus cackled, leaving the bathroom.

Deceit watched him go, before slumping slightly and falling behind.

Hopefully… hopefully this would get better soon.

Deceit and Remus could be happy soon.

And Remus wasn’t a monster.

 _Eternal rest never seemed to be closer_  
_Than in that passing moment,_  
_But quickly my fear was gone_  
_And even though all this mindless self indulgence was fun_ _  
_**The party ends at the break of dawn.**

**Author's Note:**

> I have an idea based on the second song, False Disposition, with Remus that involves lots of violence, if anyone wants to read that one! It'll be two chapters, my original "writing the music video that popped up into my head while listening" thing, and the fully fleshed out one shot with the full story if I do.
> 
> Also this first song, I had an idea that was more when Remus appeared, Deceit and Virgil and the orange dude's reactions, etc. I've been adding Orange in a bit but like, so vaguely so that when he DOES appear in the videos I can just be like
> 
> I never mischaracterized him lol
> 
> I might write it, cause it's kinda cute
> 
> This song series just makes me think of Remus h
> 
> [Paypal](https://www.paypal.me/mattywantstobattle) / [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/helldriiven) / [Commissions](https://do-you-promise.tumblr.com/post/186781946449/okay-so-let-me-be-the-bearer-of-shit-news-im)


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